Em Bm C G C G D

'I wanna dance the tango with chance...'

Technically I'm not going north, but still... I will. It's funny, actually, because I really loved this song around the time Sid was going to the USA, or getting ready to go there... it seemed fitting for him =]

Anyway my reason for writing! I've had a fairly productive day today. Well, academia-wise, I haven't but I feel productive and good anyway. I woke up at 9:30ish, went to Church... had brunch and then...I was probably still online haha but eventually I ended up outside with my soccer ball. What else is new, eh? My juggling's significantly improved haha and I put the clothes on the line, and kicked the ball around more... and I played piano and kicked the ball around more. It feels good to utilise my day.

I've been thinking about soccer a lot. Again. I'm scared a little. But then I keep thinking... one day I'm not even going to be able to play, so I might as well try it now. I want to learn to kick with my left foot; I tried it today, I'm not completely terrible but there's room for improvement. And I'm learning to kick better in general.

My knee shook a little today. And it hurts sometimes. And that bloody scar is around too. I miss soccer.

Anyway yesterday I was skyping with sis. We don't do it often; we don't speak often haha I'm waiting for her letter to arrive. I'm excited! I love mail. I never get mail. Well, rarely anyway. It was nice to talk to her. And laugh with her.

I know this is going to sound gross... but I miss dirt haha everytime I came out of a soccer game I had dirt everywhere. My hands smelled like dirt. And I miss it haha

I'm going back to soccer =D I can do this. I just need to ease myself into it, make sure I'm not going to hurt myself BEFORE I try it.

Anyway I'm going to Germany in one and a half years. And talking to sis made me get into it all again, not that I'd ever forgotten. I have random moments where I just remember it's a year and a half away! I originally wanted to go to Tübingen when I first read over the handbook list... that's in the south. Sis currently lives in Bremen, which is in the north and it's 2 hours from Hamburg. And I thought about it... it would be awesome living 2 hours from her! 2 hours isn't ALL that bad... haha I liked what I read about Tübingen. Or at least, it caught my attention. I'm waiting for Divya to read the list through so I can talk about places and universities with her.

It's 1728. Maybe it's time to be productive? Haha I've got a bunch of reading to do for German and some stuff to do for the other two subjects haha I don't know why I wanted to post this here =s On blogger, I mean... LJ has all my random stuff after all but hey.

Oh I spoke to Medha today too! I don't see her online much anymore. I'm online far too much. It was good to talk to her. Ha hopefully I get her into Missy Higgins =D Gotta love her stuff.

Anyway. It was good to talk to Sis. And to kick the ball around. And it was warm outside and everything. Oh yeah I tidied my desk a little, that's what I did haha put my bank statements together and stuff. My news is just so fascinating...

WHOA I just noticed the little shortcut information haha Ah well. Off to do German / watch HIMYM haha or Brothers & Sisters while I sort out my German stuff. It's getting cold too.

Hmm I should write again. And update my antivirus haha and post my letter to Sis O.o

I'm off to explore every boundary and every door... if I remember.

Listening to: Missy Higgins
Mood: hmm. Good.

I dreamed a dream.

So because of communitychannel, I was actually on youtube. I don't spend a lot of time there. Frankly, I find many videos stupid and people are just stupid. I'm such a treat, no? Anyway I have a habit of reading the articles on ninemsn and one of the articles was about this message a 5 year old boy made about war and stuff. They clearly blew it out of proportion. It has like 20 views and they said it was a 'hit'. I have issues with the media as it is so that's why I say it like this. But the message sweet:



So while I was on youtube I figured I'd look up Susan Boyle. It's a little delayed seeing as she was all over the news last week, hence I should have looked her up last week but I'm getting to it now. And the lyrics were there and they were nice. I like classical stuff. I want to see Les Miserables, which I still don't know how to prounounce, and Miss Saigon, although that's partially coz Lea Salonga was in it. But the music is beautiful. Like when I saw Phantom of the Opera. It was amazing. Scary and creepy. But amazing.

And yeah people suck. Back to Susan's video. The way people judge beforehand, you know? I do it too, I'm human, but it's stupid. Nobody gives people the benefit of the doubt anymore. And then, the moment they prove you wrong suddenly EVERYONE supports them. Because that person is actually amazing, you suddenly change your mind. And it happens so quickly. Like in the video, I was just like wow, that group of people changed their mind in a second. They didn't even think about it!

How easily people are swayed! Not that they shouldn't have been. Ms Boyle's really talented. But people are just too... stupid. I don't know, the stuff I read yesterday about the war and how the German people were blind to what they were really doing because out of desperation they believed someone that gave them hope to restore everything back to how it was is still in my head. People are easily swayed, especially in large numbers.

But still. The performance was great.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I hope I don't forget it.

I never really knew the lyrics to 'I dreamed a dream'. And had it not been about love I'd probably like it a lot more. It's beautiful though.

I've dreamed many dreams. Hoped for many things but mostly, it's been dreams. And then you realise that... dreams belong in a separate place to reality. At least some do, and there they'll always be special, but they'd never be real. I've always liked the word dream. It sounds so much nicer than imagination, it's more mystical and magical that way. But in my head they're pretty similar I guess.

The last few lines are awesome. I like things that end sadly. They're much more brilliant that way. At least songs, some stories. I mean, some stories I get put off by because the ending is happy. Because somehow, despite everything, it's all sorted out. I mean, if Romeo and Juliet hadn't died, it wouldn't be as popular. If the dude from Nineteen Eighty-Four hadn't 'loved Big Brother', it wouldn't have been as powerful. It just makes it so much more effective. And reminds you not to let that happen.. or try not to, I guess.

"Now life has killed / The dream I dreamed".

More ridiculous things! Less serious and noble though.

Okay so my ridiculous rant? I think I've gotten my brother sick. When I got sick, I went out and bought my own damned noodles. But this morning, my mum's all, 'I'm going to check on your brother, he's sick,' and, 'Do you want soup, PJ?'

Bah i made my own noodles! I made my own tea. I looked after myself. No thanks to you. Well, thanks to Max, he looked after me.

And when I want to bring the orange juice upstairs I'm told that I should put it in the fridge because a big glass should last me at least an hour and I should share with my brothers. My brothers don't even like orange juice! They like apple juice! Which we have!

AND I'm just trying to keep the fluid intake coming like the stupid doctor told me to do. And my throat is starting to hurt again and hence I like the fluid intake in my system; it makes it feel better. But noooo.

Yes I'm jealous of my brother. But I still want him to be okay. Good for him to be taken care of, I'm happy about that. I just think it's a little ridiculous. And I want more orange juice. Far out. I finished my tea in like 20 minutes, and then I wanted more. I would have liked it if I had a bunch of tea next to me in my bed, you know.

Hence I thought I'd try i with orange juice. I'm almost out of juice. After I take a drink anyway. And I don't like moving much.

Everything, including water, still has an awful taste. And I'm hungry or something.

I don't want to go to uni yettttt.

National Pride & ridiculous things.

Today is ANZAC Day. A day that I think is pretty awesome, even though I don't do anything particularly great on this day. But it's good that we have it; it's only fair to remember the ANZACs. I spent yesterday afternoon reading about the World Wars. For my FIS assignment, so I was looking mostly at the European side of things. Actually, it was more Germany-focused. It fascinated me.

So today when my mum and my aunt say that war is stupid especially when it can be resolved later, I get annoyed. Because it's a lot more complex than that, at least acknowledge that fact. And then mum continues to say if one of her kids wanted to be a priest it would be fine to her, but if they wanted to join the army she'd disagree with it or something.

First of all. We're a strictly Catholic family. Of course you wouldn't care if someone wanted to be a priest. Unless it was me, because there are no female priests in the Catholic church. Maybe if I converted? So maybe she was just talking about the boys. But still. And then they were talking about a guy that went to war or something, and he was 18 and how could he not know what he was doing, he's young, he had the rest of his life ahead of him and what reason would possibly make him want to join the army.

National pride? Defending your country, fighting for your country. I have issues with pride; I was born and raised here but I didn't have ancestors that were ANZACs or anything. My family's only been here since the 80s! They still call the Philippines home. So I'm a little confused. I'm proud to be Australian, I'm proud to be of Filipino descent. And I would fight for either country. Although, if they fought each other I don't really know which side I'd be on then.

But still. I think it's noble to fight for your country. I don't think I'd mind dying for my country. Better to die young and fighting for something, for people, than to watch others do the same for you and die old. Or something. It's a new idea, I haven't fully formed my opinion but that's the current one of the moment.

I wanted to join the airforce. Once. I never really considered it properly because I always knew I'd go to uni, never thought about doing anything else. Max wanted to join the defence force too. I wouldn't want him to because he'd be away from me haha but still.

You know what else is ridiculous? My mum would tell us about the cadet thingies they'd do over in the Philz. How they know how to.. do stuff with guns and march and army-related stuff that I actually don't know about.

And I'm not glorifying war, or battle. I just... it's a noble and courageous thing to do; to join the defence force knowing that one day they may call on you to put your life on the line for your country. And I raise my glass to all our troops. Cheers.

You know you're sick when toothpaste tastes bad.

I have recently, i.e. in the last 5 minutes, realised that being sick does make things taste bad. I not only lose my sense of taste, or rather, it's not only inhibited, but it's altered. I was brushing my teeth and it toothpaste just tastes really gross. And usually I like the taste of toothpaste; not that I digest it or anything on a regular basis.

Oh yeah so I'm sick. Tuesday night my throat was just suddenly hurting. I mean, I thought I could be getting sick over the previous days but I fought it well: I took medicine, I gargled with salty & hot water, I stayed warm, wore socks. And I felt successful. Until I woke up Wednesday morning to find the sore throat still there. It later developed into a runny nose too.

It's funny though, how things develop over time. I mean, I actually notice it. That's how sad I am. For the moment at least. But yeah so Thursday morning, yesterday, I wake up and the sore throat is gone, but the congestion gives me a headache and at some point - when Yoomee was making me feel guilty for not going ice skating over the phone - I had back pain too. I went to the doctor, between 2:09pm - 2:21pm, and found out the I have a viral flu and that Monday is in fact not a public holiday. I'm incensed that I'm robbed of a public holiday.

Meanwhile I napped from about 3 til 7:19. I saw the clock when I woke up. My life story is so awesome. And beautifully told. And when I woke up, the congestion was gone and I think that's when my cough made an entry. Oh yeah earlier, as in Thursday morning and til about mid arvo, I had a fever.

It's like every time I wake up there's some new development. Something is gone, but something new is there. I'd compare it to losing a leg and gaining an arm but I'm afraid karma will bite me later.

Anyway, today, the cough's gotten worse and there's a little phelgm. Wow this post is disgusting. And throughout the day it gets worse and worse and eventually I realise I may lose my voice. And so my voice slowly deteriorates. Ask Max. He spoke to me several times over the phone and it felt like every time he called, my voice had changed a little more.

And now my cough sounds empty - because of my lack of voice, of course - and it hurts my chest as well as my head. B-E-A-utiful. Haha

Meanwhile. I still taste weird toothpaste in my mouth. And I've drank so much tea. I don't drink tea on a regular basis. I like coffee! At uni, at least. Tea is my 'when I'm sick or need to feel better' drink. And I tried it with honey. I don't even know how to make tea. But it feels healthier than coffee.

So that's my sickness. And my get well soon friends? Buttermenthol, which I discovered are laxatives in excesss - thanks Kuya - , Tea, Fantastic (Beef) Noodles! And water, I suppose. Coz we had no juice or Tang. At least not much.

I'm meant to talk to Em later in the day, webcam style. I don't know if I was meant to talk haha but clearly now I can't. Oh well.

Back to watching communitychannel.

Panarotti's & San Churro

I'm a little lazy but I'd rather do this over studying haha So on Friday night, April 3rd, we had Leah's birthday dinner & dessert at Panarotti's & San Churro. I was late, of course haha

I left the city at about... well my train was 6 something or other from Town Hall so that takes about an hour at least to get home. And I ended up getting to the car at like 7:45 - viertel vor zwanzig Uhr - coz 24 hour time is awesome and I feel better doing some study. Anyway, I rushed home, almost hitting a car, by the way, because I don't look properly when I change lanes. I probably spent about a minute in the house, max. I ran up the stairs, dumped my bag with my new Gilmore Girls box set in my room coz Max is freaking awesome and he bought it for me, picked up a bag, picked up Leah's present and went back to the car. On Wednesday I'd run into Angela who's a first year at UTS and I offered to carry a book for her coz we had to hold umbrellas too and we forgot it was in my bag when we went different ways. And yeah so I was dropping it off at her place. OMG that place is freaky! Coz it was dark and there were only houses on one side.

So I'm there at about 8pm when I'm meant to be at Leah's dinner by then haha and I go pick up Aimee, who scared the hell out of me when she opened the door before I even got there, and we went to Leah's! There were only 5 of us, and I knew all of them which was great haha I went a little camera crazy too. So did Aimee. And her freaky negative photos.

I just wanna put photos up. Okay soooo:






On your left you have mine and Aimee's pizza, after we took slices of course. Notice the mess haha









And this is the salt & pepper from Aimee's new phone haha not bad, aye? The pictures of our actual faces scare me so yeahh I don't want them here haha









This is at San Churro now. The stuff Leah, Monic & Kate bought. Mine was better =P










See? It's so better. That's caramel on the left and milk chocolate on the right. zOMG the milk chocolate. It was amazing. And I told the waitress so....before she kicked us out.







See the fire alarm went off just as Aimee - i dot me - and I got our order. And well no one was moving so we didn't and it was too nice to eat to leave alone! So yeah eventually the waitress was like 'yeah you guys should really be outside'. Dude they were on the corner. One entrance led to the shopping complex, the other to outside haha so we took our churros with us. I didn't even know these things existed until about a month ago when Em mentioned them.


Anyway so the fire alarm eventually stopped and the waitress asked us to 'hurry it up a little coz we're closing'. They also forgot to make my friends' drinks so yeahh. The service wasn't that great. We tipped them 10c! Haha coz like it was all we got change so we chucked it in the tip bowl thing. Anyway I could not get over the milk chocolate there.


And I was also a little... hyperactive / crazy there. Clearly people don't see me the way I think they do haha I wrote out 'HI' then everyone's names with sugar... and tool photos coz I'm awesome =]

And now I'm tired. So yeahh. It was actually a really great day, the whole day, I just make it sound dull haha

















I didn't bother getting everyone's names haha just mine =] You can imagine how it went, yus?

So this is from when we were sitting outside. I love the window through the wall thing, it's actually kinda beautiful.

And that's everyone - minus me who was taking the photo - at Panarotti's =]

Wonder what else I can do to procrastinate haha Hmmmm I just wanna type so I'll try my notes now.

So it's shitting down on us...

And about half an hour ago I was having a conversation with Aimee about the lightning. Coz it was awesome to us. It just flashed; like a photo. You couldn't see the route it took, like the lightning bolt-looking thing, just the flash of light. And when I got home it was still happening, just closer, and NOW the storm's hit.

It looks different is all. Maybe it's a sign? Of the Apocalypse! Something is wrong with the world. Ya. Global warming, right? haha

Anyway I hope nothing bad happens. This is just in case I was right =P So i can say I told you so.

Today I went to Panarotti's & San Churro. I'll talk about that later I guess. Gotta study for German mid sem this weekend though, and remember to meet my group online at 1pm on Sunday. And hopefully Michelle goes to soccer so I can see her play. Or... maybe it should rain.

Wow I just found out there's pizza downstairs.

So yeah not a very interesting blog entry. Retell tomorrow.

Typical Asian.

Oh yeah, this is so a new topic and it happened while I was typing the post before this. My procrastinating skills are pretty awesome, aye? I'm still not doing work ;)

Anyway. So I was talking to this guy from uni and he asked me if I knew how to play 13. Which, apparently, is a game all Asians know how to play. I'm Filipino. I'm not that Asian. I mean... when my uni friends and I went to eat at this Japanese place I had to get a fork coz I don't know how to use chopsticks. They all laughed at me. I started learning after that too haha but have given it up for the moment to go back to using my trusty old spoon. Ya, I eat with a spoon. Got issues?

But yeah I don't get this whole, 'how come you don't know it? All Asian people do!'

First of all, I grew up in a pretty multicultural area where a majority of the Asian people I encountered were Filipino and we had our own little things, you know?

Second of all, stereotyping is wrong.

Third of all, I'm really ignorant. Like seriously. Ask Divya. She keeps asking me, ever so sarcastically, if I watch the news JUST because I don't know what's going on in the world, or what went on. I like my ignorance, thank you very much.

Anyway Em's just reminded me of a typical Filipino thing: karaoke. A majority of us have a Magic Mic / Magic Sing at home haha our very own karaoke mics. They're pretty awesome too ^^

Anyway.

I should start doing work. I've vented enough. I've written more here than in my assignment, jeeez.

P.S. My butt hurts from this chair. Stupid brother has the comfortable one.

Fuck you, Panania, you ruined my life.

So I've had this line in my head for about.. 3 and half hours now haha

For anyone that knows me or has spoken to me for a while, a month or a week at least I guess, you'd know that I love soccer. And that I play. Played. As in, past tense. Why past tense? Well, first of all, thank you very much Panania. Last...April? Or late March, I was playing for Gunners Soccer Club - henceforth known as GUNNERS! - and it was just a friendly, a something I forgot the name of game.. a trial game! And I don't know what happened, this girl came out of nowhere and I hit the ground. And I was crying and I couldn't stand. When I did my leg would literally wobble and something, I swear it was my knee cap, would like zig zag across my knee. Idiot doctor I saw that day told me it was a bruise.

After a day of pain I went to see another and he couldn't touch it coz it was so inflamed. I got crutches and didn't know how to get better or anything and eventually I saw a physio who told me I should've been off crutches a while ago. But seriously every time I stood on my legs my knee cap would relocate. Anyway it turned out I'd torn my anterior cruciate ligament.

I remember finding out and freaking out. Coz my friend, Em, said someone on her dance team had torn her ACL and she had to get surgery and I was like OMG I hope that doesn't happen to me. And it turns out it did. And then I messaged Canadia Liz coz she loves soccer too and was also injured at the time. And ya I was freaking out.

And so on December 12th I had my knee reconstruction. Stupid 3 days in hospital. I felt sick the second day. Well the first day I was pretty much still out coz of the morphine, which makes me puke by the way. I know you wanna know ;) And the second day I realised I had to stay in that bed with no movement and a really heavy leg and bedpans urghhh and I just wanted out.

And yeahh I had a few visitors, but most of the time I was just.. I don't even know what I was doing. But I called Helen a couple of times. More people should be on 3 so I can use my freetime. I remember when everyone was on Optus haha but anyway.

So I've been going physio since then. And a couple of weeks ago my physio, Kenny, tells me I have to run or it's not worth going to physio this week. And he said it in a nice way, not like an asshole way. So today, despite my strong distaste for doing it, I went for a run. Sort of. I went with a soccer ball because seriously, I don't see a point in running unless you're going after something.

And fuck me dead, I could not kick a ball properly. And I dribbled the ball but it was so.... hard for me. If you've ever seen me play, you'd be able to tell the difference. I think. Maybe not. But I used to be able to run with the ball, and use like the entire surface of my right foot at least to dribble the ball. I was comfortable tapping it with my left foot. Since when did soccer ever be a chore to me? Except when I had to go to training haha the runninggg. But other than that, soccer was always fun.

And I felt so weird running and trying to kick with my left foot. Oh and I can't kick anymore. Like the ball just barely gets off the ground. I know it's got to do with my left leg. Coz I don't put my full body into the kick, I stop after a while so my right foot just swings out to the left way too much. And I kick up dirt.

Panania fucked up my life. I never cared much before, right, until I try going back to soccer and its all weird.

Anyway. I hope I get back to how I was. If I don't, bloody hell I'll be complaining about it. Seriously. Soccer was something I could do with... well more confidence than usual. I didn't think it'd be weird to go back, that I'd be different.

Tch. Stupid Panania. I'm sure it's a lovely place. Haha.

Lunch? Understated.

Wow. I have GOT to rethink eating downstairs when I have relatives over. Because, I don't want to be sitting there eating while they're all talking. Especially when I become the centre of interest and really uncomfortable.

Just wow I still feel uncomfortable. My heart like wow haha stupid prawn took too long to peel. If I'd peeled faster, I wouldn't have been there for said conversation.

And procrastination is still going strong.

Song of current interest: All my life - KC & Jojo

Bloody hell.

Extended on LJ.

Tic Tacs.

So this entry isn't really about tic tacs. I think that's the name of the layout / design I picked for this blog.

It's 10:06am and I've been awake since about 7:30, procrastinating nonetheless. And for some reason I have the strong urge to note down every single mundane detail of my life. And, because my LJ is really messed up and old, I figured I'd start new.

Welcome to my blogger...thing.

My blog is accessible and under the name of 'klumbzy' which is PURELY mine. If you see a klumbzy anywhere else, chances are that's me. I don't know who exactly I'll let view this yet either.

Anyway. I haven't seen this so-called Tic tac thing yet. So after I do I'll probably have something to say about it.

So yeah I think I should go update some stuff. And I like my face perfectly picture-less at the moment.